1
I grew up in a mostly female family. My grandfather died early, and my father worked far from home for years. I had no brothers and was the only male in the family.
Stay in such an environment for a long time, so that I have most women have a good quality, I am caring, kind, love the United States, considerate……
But due to the lack of paternal love, I desperately wanted to be loved and felt severely insecure. It’s not just my conclusion, my friends and family all agree.
Perhaps it is because of all these reasons that I, a serious lack of love, have a preference for mature men much older than me.
Some people may think that I am not looking for a date, but clearly looking for a sugar daddy. But I don’t think so. Yup, my uncle can make up for my father’s absence in my growing up, but lovers and relatives are not the same after all.
I like an older man, not only for the love they give my father but also for their poise, their success, their understanding of how to love.
2
By chance, I knew Mr A on the Blued app.
I was on the bus back to school from the county. Don’t know how to kill time, so began to browse the Bluedd app, and Mr A’s bio caught my attention, “A possessive mature man “
At first look at the bio, I only feel old-fashioned, but those characteristics are exactly the most attractive to me. In the spirit of giving it a try, I sent him my photo.
After reading it, he probably felt satisfied and began to talk with me warmly. To be polite, he responded with his photo. In the photo, he was dressed in a suit, wearing glasses, and short hair.
I thought he looked just normal and answered many of his questions. After talking for a while, he became more interested in me and suggested the idea of meeting with me.
I was so excited that I got off the bus at the next stop, swept a scooter around and pedalled all the way to the meeting place.
After arriving at the destination, he did not come, I will sit in the car, playing with the phone.
“Jason! (my name), Mr A walked behind me and called me.
When I turned around, I was shocked. There’s a real difference between the real person and the photo. But he called me to come over, and I ran to him.
3
He took me to a famous park in the city, which is famous for a wall covered with poems. As he walked, he introduced me to his familiar poems.
The wall was so long that after walking for half an hour we could not reach the end of it, so we sat down on stone benches to rest.
During breaks, he peeled me an orange, talked to me about home affairs, and read my palm. He did pick up on my background, the death of my grandfather, the fact that I do not have a brother or sister, and my character.
As I listened to his talk, I was unconsciously absorbed in him, neglecting the less important things of appearance. I admire his education, I admire his talent, I indulge in his conversation because these are all I do not have now.
He still went on with his story and continued to peel the orange
At the same time, he whispers in my ear, “I have feelings for you.”
I put my head down and pretend I hadn’t heard. He grabbed my hand.
At this moment, a college student was passed by, she has been looking at us. I don’t know if she is in the same university as me, but Mr A showed no care.
4
When I heard the sound of a ship in the distance, I knew it was late and got up to go to the boat. He took it for me and walked me all the way to the boat.
When I almost arrived to school, he also send me a message, asking me did I arrived to school safely. In fact, this question, friends, parents would ask me, but he asked out, I still feel different and special.
In the days that followed, I often thought of his face before going to sleep, and could not fall asleep for a long time. But I knew I couldn’t be the one to take the initiative, and even if I did, I’d have to hold it back.
Turns out, I do have a lot of inhibitions. He talked to me everyday, but THAT’s not what I wanted. I just kept waiting. Finally, I got a video call from him.
At that moment, I saw that familiar face, I could not hold it any longer, I will all I miss these days told me. He was very happy and asked me when I would be free. I don’t have any classes on Thursday. So our second date was on the agenda.
5
A park is always a great place to go on a date, and our second date was set for another park.
He told me that it was the largest park in the city and he had a fond memory of it when he was a child. Every time he came to a venue, he would tell me about the changes of the place and the interesting things he had left there when he was a child.
As I walked and listened, I suddenly had the strange feeling that I was making up for the time I had missed in his youth. Although his childhood had passed, now that I had accompanied him through the scenes of his childhood, I would give new meaning to the memories. I smiled at the thought.
He asked me why I laughed, but I said nothing and let him guess.
He was patient, testing the answers one by one. I didn’t tell him until he couldn’t guess right.
Hearing this, he was happier than I was and took my hand to the deserted pavilion. When he sat down, he took out several packets of snacks from his pocket. We sat on long wooden benches overlooking the rippling lake. I nibbled at the snack he offered me and leaned on his shoulder.
After eating snacks, he strolled through the park holding my hand. When I asked him if he wasn’t afraid of being seen by people he knew, he just jokingly replied, “Will anyone care if I hold my son’s hand?”
In fact, I really want someone, can be in the eyes of others, still do not let go of my hand. But I am also a very rational person, I know this is not feasible for a person working in a state-owned enterprise, so I will ask such a question carefully. But his answer made me love him even more.
6
In between, we went to a public restroom.
When I came out of the restroom, he was sitting on a bench nearby, waiting for me. The sun shone on him through the cracks in the trees and everything looked so good.
“I don’t have much time. I have to get ready to go back to school.” I snuggled up to him like a kitten.
“Sure, I’ll take you.” He pouted my face.
“Before I go, I want to ask you to do one thing,” I said earnestly.
Fortunately, we understood, and he knew what I was going to say right away. He pulled out his phone, deleted the Blued app in front of me, and saved my fingerprints on his phone too.
Similarly, I also deleted the Blued app under his witness. The app was originally downloaded to meet people, and now that I’ve found a match, it’s done its job.
At the park gate, there was a little girl on the roadside and selling some flowers, he knows I like flowers, specially bought a handful for me. When I got the flowers, he also gave me a blessing: “I gave you all the flowers, but still feel that all the flowers are inferior to you.”
I sat in his passenger seat, holding flowers in my hand and thinking of the sweet words he had just said to me.
On the way back to school, I occasionally glanced at the earnest driver and became more and more fascinated by him.
At parting, I could not help but kiss him, regardless of the risk of being seen.
He sat in the car and watched me through the gate until I turned the corner and drove off slowly.
7
We frequently have a video call every time. It has become a habit of mine. A few times, he was so busy late at night that he forgot to video me, and I couldn’t sleep well.
It’s only been a month or two since we started, but I’m getting more and more excited about the future.
It was Mr A’s birthday a few days ago, but there were several brothers and sisters in his family who stayed with him all day, which made it impossible for me to meet him. As a partner, I can’t go to his birthday party, his family reunion, as a family member or friend, which is what I most regret. But I firmly believe that one day I will be accepted by his family and recognized by his friends.
Now approaching the end of the year, Mr A has more and more meetings. The meetings are not only long, but also can not look at the mobile phone, which makes me and his communication become less up.
To make matters worse, he received notice yesterday that he needed to go to Beijing for a week. The company gave them a hotel room for two, which cut off the daily video chat.
But he comforted me: if love between two people can last, why should it last day and night? Yeah, we still have a long time ahead of us. What’s a week? We still have thousands and thousands of weeks!
