We were just general friends in our junior year at high school. I was still a straight guy at that time. Later, he dropped out and rested at home for a year.
My house is very close to his home. Every vacation, I can’t wait to come to his home to play video games with him. We played true 3 with him and beat Far Cry, the whole series of Call of Duty, the whole series of Medal of Honor, and our common favourite: Total War in Middle Ages 2.
We always watch av porn together. Both of us were naked and jerking off together. Unconsciously, we gave each other a handjob. We bought all kinds of foreign wine together. Every time we hang out, we bought several packs of cigarettes and cigars.
We always made oven roast ham, boiled instant noodles when we were hungry. Slowly, I liked the feeling when I stayed with him. I forced him to let him say that he liked me, loved me, called my babe, and held my hand in the street at my request. But he was still straight.
I tried to overpower him, and more than once. But what I could do was only strip him naked and force him to kiss me, but his intense struggle made me feel embarrassed. So I gave up.
I advised him to go further to college, but he was reluctant to do it. He was going to take me to his house in Weihai with a view of the ocean to start a new life and find a job. His idea was so young and naive that I rebuffed him.
I haven’t heard from him since. Now it has been more than a year. He’s not very social, so I can’t find him on any social media. I know that I don’t like him anymore, but he is the one who let me realise that I am gay.
His appearance is always in my mind. But I don’t want him to turn like me, which will make me regret it, because I didn’t choose to be with him.
